Saturday, November 1, 2014

Day 1 - A Person I am Thankful For.

Day One

A person I am Thankful For.

Thinking about today's blog title, my mind has been so busy -- going over all of the people in my life so far who have blessed me.   Who have loved me.   Who have hurt me.  Who have betrayed me.  Who have looked down on me.  Who have been an inspiration to me.

So many people.  So many voices.  So many memories.  So many souls.

Forgiveness?  Something I strive to work on and so far have done a very good job.  Just as I would want my children to forgive my mistakes....and know how loved they are.   I believe they each know how loved they are.  So that is a huge accomplishment.

Forgiveness ....will be another blog challenge... later..

Today, I am suppose to write about a person I am thankful for.  God, there are so many.   Really. Who I am today is because of those I need to forgive and those who were blessings.  So I have to thank them all.

But...there is a moment.   A pivotal time that my thoughts about myself changed.  That I understood that I deserved a smile back.  That I was not what some thought.  That life was out there.. waiting for me.   For me to stand and say... This is what I think.   This is what I believe.  This is how I feel.  This is how I'm going to be treated.  

There is a person.  The one who made a difference is how I thought of me.  One who made me feel special about me.   First time that had happened in so long... I had forgotten that I had a light in my eyes.  A light that sparked and has continued to grow since.  

This person gave me a gift that, even at the time I had no idea they gave it to me.  I do not think this person ever realized it either.  But I am so grateful. 

During all of my dark years, some would say...don't wake up one day and be 40 years old suddenly realize you didn't deserve to be treated badly.  Well, I was in my early thirties so I guess that was better than forty.  And in those years since..I cannot explain, looking back, the incredible journey.  Amazing.

But as I said before, I wouldn't change the circumstances before.  Not really.  They are part of this miraculous journey here on the earth plane.  Necessary. Yes.  

There is sadness and maybe a little regret, but when I look at what I have now - not in possessions but in the beauty of these children I have - the greatest accomplishments ever - there is no regret.  And no sadness for mistakes of the past.   For my life before the point that a special friend unknowingly showed me which direction to head next.   Because, with a lighter heart, I knew that I mattered.  Right, wrong or backward.... I mattered and God knows, I needed to matter.  

We all need to matter.  One of the greatest things you can do for someone is to make sure that they know....that they matter.

It's been 19 years since those pivotal moments.  I still make mistakes.  I still bitch about things a little...but I smile and people do in fact smile back.   

And for the November photography challenge.....

Day 1 - My favorite food...

Sorry but food just didn't get it tonight.  All I can think of is birthday cake....

Coffee.  That's my favorite food.  And being at Starbucks with two of my girls....Yep.

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