Thursday, January 9, 2014

If Today was Your Last Day.

A number of years ago, a young man came into our family.

It was brief.  Only for about three months.  He was dating one of my daughters.

During that time,  we knew what a wonderful and talented musician he was.  He loved things like
Mother Earth News.  He gardened and seemed very in tune with nature.

He loved my little grandson.

Sometimes, when you think you know someone, no matter how short of a time or long of a time, you don't really know what is happening inside of their mind.  You are so busy with your own life and later you wonder, should I have seen it coming?  Should I have known how troubled he was?

I don't think the answers to questions like that ever come, not really.

I talked to him. Well, no, I didn't talk to him on that day in July.  He called my house.  I was busy and I didn't want to get involved in what was going on.  My answers to him were brief.  I wasn't cold and I tried to be as kind as I could. but "I'm sorry, I can't help you."

Now I know we can't always help people.  I know we can't always love people like we are suppose to.

But I think we should try harder.

I do not take any responsibility for what happened to this young man.  Yes, I could have been kinder.  I could have taken the time to listen to him.  Would it have made a difference for him?  I do not know.  But I do know this, it would have made a difference for me.   

If any of us had known that this suicide was going to happen, we would have moved heaven and earth to prevent it.  We did not know.

We did not know.

Shane.  You touched our family.  You were already in our hearts.  Your music.  Your smile.  Now you are etched there forever, until we get to meet you again.

Do I believe that because, at your weakest moment, your most troubled time, the time that you needed God the most that He would ever abandon you.
No.  I will never believe that and I know it isn't true.

When someone leaves us, we cry for us.  We cry for what is lost to them - with us.

When someone takes their own life, I cry for the hopelessness they must have felt.

You gave us all a gift Shane.   Something that came with a high price.  Never again will I not show compassion to someone, to not take just a moment to listen.  

You will never be forgotten by this family.  Ever.  

Thanks for the gift of this awesome song.  I will see you every time I hear it.  When I see a guitar I will remember how you played and sang.  
When I listen to Dust in the Wind by the Scorpians - I will remember how you shook your head at me and said " I don't like it.  Where are the violins???"

You said you didn't belong here...maybe you didn't.  
Where you are now is the place where love lives. 



You know I put this little video together a long time ago with the song.  

I will try to always live my life with the words of this song in the background.  It is how I remember you.

To see the video - click below




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